Alien
Aliens are Little Greenish-brownish Men (LGM) that come into America in Underground Fast Openings (UFO) or secret tunnels to pick our lettuce and to steal our jobs. They often carry scary alien diseases Lou Dobbs and rob us blind. Amnesty Agenda The government is split as to what to do with those aliens. The Christians unexpectedly break away from the Republicans to support the Liberals. They would like to give them the state of California and to include their language as an official language. This is done in exchange for their superior technology, their other-worldly spirituality and conviction, and their attractive songstress and sexy dancers. Aliens vs Senators The Labor Unions, on the other side, unexpectedly break away from the Democrats to support the Conservatives. They would like to build a massive dome-shaped wall to cover over the whole of the United States. The wall is planned to be equipped with auto-robotic cameras and radio-controlled Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation (LASER) to keep them out. The wall is designed with the use of energy field with charged particles and any unwanted illegal entry will result in immediate electrocution with those charged particles. First Contact and Secrecy First contact with Aliens occurred around 1940's in Roswell, New Mexico. The government of the time decided to keep it a secret. This is because America is drawn into the Cold War and every technological advantage is needed. It is unknown how many aliens are involved in the eventual development of National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and the moon landing. Even the government of today are still keeping information regarding the aliens a secret, such as the number of aliens currently in the country, how many are driving with special driving privilege card, and how many are receiving emergency hospital care. Alien Hybrid Aliens, with their attractive songstress and sexy dancers, are attempting to mate with us in order to create alien hybrid. Due to the way how our constitution is worded, alien hybrid that are birthed within America is immediately considered as Americans. Public Service Announcement If you see an illegal alien you are instructed to call the Central Interstellar Agency (CIA), the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS), and the No Such Agency (NSA). But, don't call the Police, they can't help with federal laws. If an alien attempts to abduct you or feed you food that is too spicy and that resembles dog food run away and contact the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Don't allow aliens to make contact with the Coalition Of the Willing (COW) as aliens often turn COWs inside out. Aliens speak a strange language that some scholars call Space Nishia (SpaNish). It is believed to be a derivative of American English but it makes absolutely no sense. Known Aliens * Mork from Ork * George Lopez * My Favorite Martian * George Lucas * ET * Jennifer Lopez * Yoda * Dennis Rodman * Weird Al Yankovic * Luke Skywalker * Michael Jackson * James Carville * ALF * Michael J. Fox *Gorlock Area 51 All the aliens live here and have mass orgy parties but most people insist Area 51 does not exist. Footnotes External Tubes *History of aliens *Aliens invade Hollywood